Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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