I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
