Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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