Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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