im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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