I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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