WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
