Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
