I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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