he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
