we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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