Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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