My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize