I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
