Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
