If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
