Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
