Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
