So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
