we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
