just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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