How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
