My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
