turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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