did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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