maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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