My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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