Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
