2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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