i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Alive.
So much puke
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
