so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
