No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
