Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Randomize
