She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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