one two three fourrrrnication!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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