awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's the barista slut.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
