remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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