I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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