I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
His nipple licking is glorious
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