It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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