weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
