sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
