jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
