shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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