guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
