i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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