big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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