Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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