member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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