Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
