Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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