I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
