youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
