Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
