where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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