Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
