Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
